Five simple words. Host some parties and it becomes almost robotic. It’s the polite thing to ask. Of course I would like some cake. Or girl scout cookies at the office. Or a piece of pizza. Or a slice of ice cream cake. Except now I know that the answer to that question is “no thank you”. But sometimes, when I see everybody else enjoying the festivities and food, I just stand there, with my mouth hanging open, silent. Then when the silence is one millisecond too long, the person who asked the question realizes that they wish they hadn’t asked and this uncomfortable exchange involving my frustration and the other person’s awkward feelings plays out. I’m still trying to figure out what I can and can’t eat, and reeling from the mistakes I make that leave me feeling sick more often than not. But so much of celebration and gathering in our culture involves food and communal eating. When you can’t eat what everyone else does, you’re kind of the loner.
I need to learn how to answer the cake question and stay part of the party. I could say I’m on a diet. And nobody would believe me. I could say I just ate, until I have to spend more than 2 hours in one place (thus refuting the “I’m on a diet” explanation). I think I might have to go web surfing when I have time and see what other people have had to say about this one.
For anyone who wonders, I really don’t care if you eat the cake in front of me. I don’t even care if you ask me if I want some. I just want to be a part of the party.
February 20, 2008 at 2:13 am
I too hate feeling left out.
My solution is to bring the cake. There are excellent cake recipes out there and nobody can tell that they are gluten-free. Nobody.
I made 24 of these cupcakes: (http://glutenfreeturtle.com/2008/02/12/gluten-free-valentine%e2%80%99s-day-vanilla-bean-cupcakes-with-strawberry-papaya-icing/)
this weekend for a baby shower (of course, pink icing not bright red). Because of the snow only 10 people were able to come to the party. There were only 3 cupcakes left at the end. THREE. That means that most people ate at least two cupcakes. People don’t eat seconds unless they really like their first helping.
February 20, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I totally understand where you are coming from. EVERY office function I feel left out (there are only 30 of us here). So I am starting to bring my own food and participate in my own way. My boss ALWAYS asks me “Do you want a piece of cake? Oh that’s right, you can’t eat any.” It’s rude, it’s annoying but it’s her. It’s a hard thing to get past, but remember this – they are poisoning themselves with gluten. They may not think they are, but it’s not good for any of us, and we’re the smart ones going gf! hang in there.